Meditation.

Meditation is defined in Wikipedia as a practice where an individual trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness, either to realize some benefit or for the mind to simply acknowledge its content without becoming identified with that content, or as an end in itself. 

So a few years ago I was introduced to a lady who does massage. I had a compressed disc at the time and she helped me get back to normal with her amazing technique. During our conversations and subsequent meetings she recommended I try Meditation as a way of de-stressing. So another “M” in my Ten Heart Commandments is Meditation and MaryAnn Barber was the other “M” who introduced me to it! For me it has always been one of those things that you look at and say ‘Whatever” but after taking her advice and trying it I was sold. Trying to find the time to do it every day can sometimes be a challenge but as the old Buddhist saying goes “If you can’t find 10 minutes to meditate find an hour”. So the best way of starting is to start small and then get better and extend the time as you practice. Don’t expect to be get it right immediately…..practice will get you there!

1. Sit quietly for a couple of minutes a day. How hard can this be right to just meditate for two minutes a day? You would be surprised but if you can, find somewhere quiet to close your eyes and relax then you can step it up as you get used to it. Try a couple of minutes a day for a week and then move up to 5. Ten minutes a day is often all you will need but take it little by little.    
2. Do it at the same time every day. It’s easy to say, “I’ll meditate every day,” but then you get wrapped into doing other things and you forget. So set a time each day that is YOUR time and do it.
3. Don’t worry about how you do it just do it. Many of the Meditation courses out there want you to sit upright or lie on the floor with your legs crossed. Personally I just want to find somewhere quiet and comfortable so if that means sitting on my patio furniture so be it. It works for me so whatever and wherever you are comfortable should work.
4. Every so often check in with yourself. As you first settle into your meditation session, simply check to see how you’re feeling. As you start to relax try to feel how your body feels. Is there an itch on your elbow? Does a part of your body feel sore or stiff? What are you thinking? Is your mind calm or are you thinking about a dozen things all at the same time? This is perfectly normal. Just try to move your mind back to the breathing and feel your shoulders relax as you do so.
5. Count your breaths. Now that you’re settled in, turn your attention to your breath. Just place the attention on your breath as it comes in, and follow it through your nose all the way down to your lungs. Try counting “one” as you take in the first breath, then “two” as you breathe out. Repeat this to the count of 10 then start again at one. And remember you are breathing from your stomach not your chest so sometimes putting a hand on your stomach as you breathe can help! Also when you first start try breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. You will start with bigger breaths that way which will help the relaxation process.
6. Come back when you wander. Your mind will wander. This is an almost absolute certainty. There’s no problem with that. When you notice your mind wandering, think about it and then simply gently return to your breath. Count “one” again, and start over. You might feel a little frustration, but it’s perfectly OK to not stay focused, we all do it. This is the practice, and you won’t be good at it for a little while.
7. Develop a positive attitude. When you notice thoughts and feelings arising during meditation, as they will, look at them with a positive frame of mind. See them as part of your life and accept them for what they are. No need to start arguing with yourself and others when you are trying to relax.
8. Don’t worry too much if nothing seems to be happening. This is your time so you are still learning the process. You might feel as though you are doing it wrong and maybe in the beginning you are but there is no perfect way to do it. It’s what works for you that matters.
9. Don’t worry about clearing the mind. Lots of people think meditation is about clearing your mind, or stopping all thoughts. It’s not. This can sometimes happen, but it’s not the “goal” of meditation. If you have thoughts, that’s normal. We all do. Our brains are thought factories, and we can’t just shut them down. Instead, just try to practice focusing your attention, and practice some more when your mind wanders.
10. Stay with whatever arises. When thoughts or feelings arise, and they will, you might try staying with them awhile. Yes, I know I said to return to the breath, but after you practice that for a week, you might also try staying with a thought or feeling that arises….relax into it. We tend to want to avoid feelings like frustration, anger, anxiety, but an amazingly useful meditation practice is to stay with the feeling for a while. Just stay, and be curious.
11. Get to know yourself. This practice isn’t just about focusing your attention it’s about learning how your mind works. What’s going on inside there? It’s murky, but by watching your mind wander you can start to understand yourself.
12. Become friends with yourself. As you get to know yourself, do it with a friendly attitude instead of one of criticism. You’re getting to know a friend a little better than before. Smile and give yourself love.
13. Do a body scan. Another thing you can do, once you become a little better at following your breath, is focus your attention on one body part at a time. Start at the top of your head and notice how it is feeling. Are your shoulders hunched up (I bet they are!) Slowly move down to the soles of your feet — how do those feel? Wiggle your toes a little and then relax them. Then move back up to the top again always continuing to feel your breathing.
14. Notice the light, sounds, energy. Another place to put your attention, again, after you’ve practiced with your breath for at least a week, is what is going on around you. Sometimes you can just focus on noticing sounds. Another day, try to notice the energy in the room all around you (including light and sounds).
15. Really commit yourself. Don’t just say, “Sure, I’ll try this for a couple days.” Really commit yourself to this. In your mind, be locked in, for at least a month.
16. You can do it anywhere. If you’re traveling or something comes up in the morning, you can do meditation in your office. In the park. During your commute. As you walk somewhere. Sitting meditation is the best place to start, but in truth, you’re practicing for this kind of mindfulness in your entire life.
17. Follow guided meditation. If it helps, you can try following guided meditations to start with. I use Headspace which really makes me focus on doing all the steps correctly but there are many others out there.
18. Find a community. Sometimes you can find a community of people who are meditating and join them. This might be a Zen or Tibetan community near you (for example), where you go and meditate with them. Or find an online group and check in with them and ask questions, get support, encourage others.
19. Smile when you’re done. When you’re finished with your two minutes, smile. Be grateful that you had this time to yourself and that you stuck with your commitment. That’s a great way to spend two minutes of your day.
20. Meditation isn’t always easy. At the beginning you will have some good days and some not so good days (I hesitate to say “bad days”.) Meditation has really amazing benefits, and you can start today, and continue for the rest of your life.

Thank you to Leo Babauta for providing the template for these 20 steps.